


Irreversible

by yxungandreckless



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Eating Disorders, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-13
Updated: 2015-04-13
Packaged: 2018-03-22 15:35:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3734161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yxungandreckless/pseuds/yxungandreckless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically Luke has been hiding something major and it finally slips out when crying on the kitchen floor to a special curly-haired boy</p>
            </blockquote>





	Irreversible

“That was a long ass tour,” Mikey spoke, pulling Calum onto the couch as Luke was shuffling through movie choices. “I just can’t believe we’re celebrating with a movie night and pizza instead of going to a club and drinking.”  
“It’s not a big deal, mate,” Ashton responded as he walked into the room and sat on the sofa adjacent to the others. “Lukey felt uncomfortable, and in my opinion, we all turn into complete dickheads when we’re drunk.”  
“I’m sorry, lads,” Luke hoarsely said from his spot in front of the DVR.   
“Woah, what happened to you?” Ashton asked, his voice laced with concern and worry as he walked over to where Luke was crouching.  
“Nothing, I’m fine,” Luke rasped while Ashton wrapped an arm around him from the back.   
“Don’t speak, peach, here, this movie looks good, right?” Ashton sputtered, reaching over Luke and grabbing Irreversible.  
“What’s that movie even about?” Calum asked as Ashton popped it in the DVR.   
“Oh shit, is this the movie about the girl who gets raped in Paris?” Michael exclaimed, Luke immediately freezing up in Ashton’s arm as they sat on the couch.  
Ashton couldn’t help but be worried when Luke reacted the way he did to the description of the movie. He’s known only two people who can’t watch or talk about rape, and they’ve both ended up being victims of it. He was positive that there was no way in hell that Luke was a rape victim- he would’ve definitely told him and the other boys that he was. They all told each other everything, and this was especially true specifically for Ashton and Luke. Luke was the first person Ashton ever told about his self harm, and Luke came out as gay to Ashton when he was 16. He kept trying to convince himself that Luke couldn’t possibly be hiding something from him, but there was an unsettling feeling in his chest when he pressed the play button on the remote.  
“We’re all comfortable with rape scenes, right?” Calum checked, and the feeling that was building in Ashton’s chest subsided as Luke nodded his head. “Alright, I’m gonna go order the pizza, I’ll be back in 5.”  
Once Calum left and the movie began, Ashton pulled Luke into his lap and Mike laughed at them since he was fully cognizant how Ashton felt about Luke as he engrossed himself in the first scene. Luke was tense, and he knew Ashton was aware of it when he pressed his lips to the underside of his jaw. He whispered to ask him if he was okay, and he just nodded in response as the mysterious man started to talk to the lady in the bar. By the time Calum came back with the pie of pizza, the guy in black just dropped a roofie into the woman’s drink while she was in the bathroom.   
“I’ll go get the plates,” Luke weakly emitted, racing off of Ashton’s lap and up the stairs into the kitchen.  
Mikey grabbed the remote and paused the movie almost immediately after he heard the basement door slam shut. Calum sat back down next to him as he placed the box onto the coffee table, and Ashton moved to a single recliner perpendicular to them.  
“There’s something up with him today,” Mike commented as he heard shuffling in the room just above them.  
“Thank you, Captain Obvious,” Ashton muttered, pulling his legs up to his chest in a protective manner. “He’s so fucking antsy and tense, and his voice is wrecked. I have ideas as to why he’s like this, but I just don’t know why his voice is gone.”  
“I do,” Calum spoke up as he nervously tapped his fingers on Mikey’s leg. “I was outside his r-room earlier to ask h-him what he wanted to do later and I didn’t i-i-interrupt him because he…he was talking to his dad on the phone. They were screaming at e-each other and then L-Luke closed his bathroom door and then I heard p-puking and m-maybe he’s just…he’s probably sick.”  
“I should’ve known,” Ashton hissed, fully aware of how horrible his father tended to be, as he got up from the couch and headed upstairs regardless of what the others were saying.  
He found Luke curled up in a ball up against the dishwasher with four broken plates right in front of him. There were tears rushing down his face, and he was shaking more than he does when he has pre-show nerves. That’s exactly when Ashton noticed it. Luke was stick thin, and he probably made himself throw up because of something his father placated into his mind. He abruptly made his way over to him, pulled him into his chest, and used the pads of his thumbs to wipe the tears from his eyes.  
“I’m s-s-sorry,” Luke rasped, burying his head into the crook of Ashton’s neck.  
“You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for, Lukey boy. I know you’re hiding something from me though, and I’m not gonna make you tell me what it is now, but I know it’s completely pushing you to the edge.”  
“Look, I’m not okay with this movie because I…I…I was raped by my own father exactly 6 years ago, Ash. When I was 12, he had my brothers hit me and himself put me into three comas in that year alone because I wasn’t perfect. He called me fat, pathetic, and worthless more times than I can count. That was the year he…you know, had his way with me, and he kept continuing with it for 2 years. H-he also heavily restricted my diet so I could be h-his ‘beautiful bitch’, and he made me throw up everything I ever ate. I w-was only 92 pounds b-back when I lived with him, and n-now I’m only 6 pounds heavier. I a-also started cutting and burning so I c-can at least have some control over my body. One day, m-my mum came home early from work and f-found out by seeing me on my knees with tears in my eyes and my father’s dick deep down my throat. She easily swept me off t-the floor and…we moved to Sydney to start our lives o-over. She never mentioned it e-ever again, but I still continued with m-my habits. It’s j-just hard for me to talk about, I’m s-so sorry. I don’t think anyone w-will ever fix me.”  
“Fuck, Luke, I want to help you so badly, you just have to let me. I don’t think now’s the appropriate time, but after the show I was gonna…I really love you more than I should and I don’t know…”  
He was shut up by Luke’s lips pushed against his own. After a few minutes, both of them let the kiss linger for a good amount of time until Luke took the opportunity to attempt to speak again.  
“I trust you, Ash, and I’ve loved you more than I should for years. The thing is if you want sex, I can’t give it to you yet, but I’ll try my hardest…”  
“Sh,” Ashton cut him off, wrapping his arms around him. “I love you for you, not for your asshole, okay?”  
“Okay,” Luke laughed, quickly kissing Ashton one last time before he stood up and grabbed Ashton’s hand to help him up.  
“Let’s grab some new plates, and I’ll force the boys to change the movie,” Ashton spoke as he picked up three paper plates so he and Luke can split a slice and sent a text to Calum. “Is Spiderman okay?”  
“When isn’t it okay?” Luke responded with a little less of a rasp, interlocking his fingers with Ashton’s as he thought maybe, just maybe, he’d end up okay.

**Author's Note:**

> never really done one shots before so maybe this is okay..?


End file.
